That GirlGuy Problem Chapter 1
by sopiieex
Summary: After being kicked out of his prebious school, Scorpius malfoy has to go to hogwarts... as a GIRL? With his best friend Teddy, can he keep his secret?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – I am a guy today, a girl tomorrow (Tuesday 5:30pm

I held my breath as my father packed the suitcase into the car. His temper was famous and it always frightened me to enrage him, especially now I wasn't allowed to go to any wizard school. I'd been framed for something I hadn't done but no one had believed me, it was like I was yelling in a crowded room or drowning in an inescapable ocean. There was only one option for me, I, Scorpius Malfoy, from here and now on, will have never existed. Instead I will have to change everything I know and pretend to be a-a-a-a g-g….girl. Unfortunately, my father wants me to attend his previous school, Hogwarts, where I will be tortured by sleepovers and makeovers for 7 years. My only escape now was sleep and I slipped into a silent chasm of dreams, to forget what I would face tomorrow.

Wednesday 9:47am

I awoke to my best friend, Teddy Lupin, prodding my shoulder in an annoying matter. He'd been a quiet, elfish character when I first met him; however the piece of kindness I showed him seemed to form a not-so-wanted bond between us.

5 minutes later

'Teddy, I'm awake, stop prodding me.' I grumbled, irritated from being awoken from my peaceful slumber. Wait, why was I in my new dorm room, oh dear god, did Teddy carry me!?

'Oh, okay, ummm Scorpius, you have water magic to practice tomorrow, which involves wearing a swimming costume,' He blushed and looked over to a razor that was lingering on my desk, 'Well umm girls have smooth legs, hairless in fact'.

I stared in horror at the now advancing razor in Teddy's shaking hands. I backed away, locking my eyes on the razor, for if I blinked, it would take away what men believe is there pride; yes leg hair for the fools who didn't understand!

'It-it doesn't have to be this way!' I yelped, literally clawing my way up the wall now. Suddenly, I felt my whole body freeze as a metal torture instrument scraped up my legs.

2 minutes later

In gay tears, I turned to Teddy and muttered 'You are DEAD!!!' but he raced out before I could strangle him with my now shaved legs. I noticed on the floor there was a bottle of cream; it had a note from him saying I had to use it. I read the label and it stated: exfoliating cream, for the fairer skin. WILL THIS TORTURE NEVER END!?

After a painfully slow cream applying time

I actually tasted the exfoliating cream…. IT TASTES NOTHING LIKE MANGO!!! I shampooed and conditioned my hair and blow dried it. I hope in the end of this I don't become queer, my father would not be amused (no offence to homosexuals).

7 minutes after blow drying

Teddy stuck his face in the doorway and came in. He then put a blind fold on me and started doing my hair… dear god help me. I felt horrid chemicals contaminate my wonderfully blonde, supple hair to its roots and to make matters worse, Lupin was humming 'Lazy Town'!

Thank god, the hair torture's over

When Teddy took the blindfold of, I saw the reflection of a nice looking, blonde girl, with baby blue eyes and a gorgeous smile. Lupin noticed my shock and said proudly 'What do you think?'

'You need to come out of the closet already' I replied, laughing at his bewildered face. He was so funny to make fun off.

'For that you will wear this.' He muttered with an evil grin, before placing a blue sparkly headband into my groomed hair, 'Oh don't forget the eye shadow,' he continued, dabbing at my eyes like a deranged man with a stick. I may be blind by the end of this.

30 minutes later, looking like a clown but not blind!

We had to think of a name for the new me but of course I was blank in the girl section, which left the decision up to Teddy, so I knew I was screwed. In the end he came up with 'Scorthia Malfoy'. I must admit it could've been worse and the poor guy looked so pleased with himself. Well anyway, moving on from deranged gay boys, I will now be starting my life as- as, crud I forgot what my new name was.


	2. Chapter 2 Dilante

Chapter 2 – hahahaha Teddy's iPod is Pink!

Water Magic, Bring on the Shaved Legs!!!

'This isn't happening.' I repeated, shuffling along in…. flip flops. I'm sure Teddy is homosexual because who in their right mind would know how to put me in a girls bikini!? Yes, I am wearing a baby blue ruffled bikini and also currently dying of shame. Teddy has his iPod in, so I think I will scare him with a random hug. Mwa ha-ha I am evil…. And I like it.

1 Minute later

Hahahaha Teddy fell into a puddle after my random hug; I now have a picture of it on my phone!!! It's my screensaver now, ha take that teddy! Although he did look generally hurt so I decided to give him a piggy back, which was before I realised I was a girl at the moment. We both realised after the wolf whistles from older students and I threw him off sharpish.

The River Looks like a Dragon Crapped in It

Teddy left me to be tortured by my classmates. They're all girls so I will have to pretend to be a loner. There's this really annoying ginger that keeps talking to me though, I think her name was Rose or something.

'So Scorthia? Would you be my partner, pretty please?' She whimpered, batting her long red eyelashes. Dear lord, I can't do this….. Wait, why did I say yes!? She jumped into the murky waters and swam under, obviously using breathing magic; I must admit she's quite smart.

10 Minutes later

My god this water's cold! I'm shivering under this bikini, which I am scared of now, seeing as I kind of like it!? Teddy came back after a while with a towel, with my cousin! She was the roughest, most unauthorised cousin I've got and of course teddy decides to bring her here! I am so telling her about his back acne….

5 Minutes Later

Teddy and Dilante (a.k.a my cousin) were talking and the conversation was cringe worthy. Here's what I mean:

Teddy: So you're a bastard child?

Dilante: Oh no, ha-ha

Teddy: No?

Dilante: I'm a bitch wink

To make matters worse, that rose girl would not leave me alone, it was teddy all over again, I should stop being so kind and forgiving. Dilante and her boyfriend, the infamous James Potter were also tailing us now and the little Potter Albus kept staring at me, god pleas no!


End file.
